Hello, I'm writing to you from limbo.
I want you to know you have created so much uncertainty in me and a small part of me resents you for it.
My hopes for the future are completely stunted because of you. But I can't really blame you that much, can I? Because you only lied about two of those futures. Everything else happened in my head.
My hallowed heart pushes forward in agony.
A thorned mess, bloody and beaten.
I will make space for you still, my dear. I want you healthy, I want you alive, I want your feet on the ground and a head on your shoulders.
First and foremost you are my love. After that you are my lover. Broken ego, bruised heart, I push forward because you were the one that pushed forward for me, broken heart, bruised ego.
Such heaviness, I think my shoulders are starting to complain.
I want to sleep for a thousand years under the warmth of the sun.
This nine pound hammer is a little too heavy for my size.
Sinking deeper and deeper into my seat like I want to be enveloped in its upholstery
Lightgrey streaming of air is a constant cry drying my wet eyes. Like a hand dryer at a public bathroom
How embarrassing.
To be seen like this
To feel like this
To be hurt like this
How embarrassing to have tried
To have trusted
To have waited and persisted
And yet I dont wish I had ended it before. Because then I would have been the bad guy
And she wouldn't have seen the consequences of her actions
In a way, a poetic ending.
I saw it coming though, as I always do. I knew what was happening, as I always do, but she didn't. And she wouldn't have seen what she would do. So we always have to see it to its end.
Cassandra. Predictor of the future, yet no one believes her.
How horrible it is to always be right.
